You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
