i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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