he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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