She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.