Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
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I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.