During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize