Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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