Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
