the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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