In the future we'll all be gay
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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