hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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