you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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