can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
