I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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