I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
