That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
