I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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