the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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