You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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