She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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