Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
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Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
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Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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