he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize