Umm I'm too high to move.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
