hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
