i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
