do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
