I think I died a long time ago.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
