Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot. http://tfl.nu/4bij
  Replies (20) Good night (2361) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women. http://tfl.nu/xpcj
  Replies (8) Good night (3197) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her http://tfl.nu/niqc
  Replies (14) Good night (1422) Bad night (5421)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms http://tfl.nu/1av4
  Replies (7) Good night (2391) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (283): View more from Ohio

  He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (283): He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought. http://tfl.nu/hl8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1765) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420. http://tfl.nu/zl7d
  Replies (3) Good night (1199) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci
  Replies (4) Good night (1266) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun". http://tfl.nu/e6oo
  Replies (8) Good night (3350) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume. http://tfl.nu/vvcp
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming http://tfl.nu/n2ay
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low. http://tfl.nu/gpfm
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow. http://tfl.nu/lb44
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work http://tfl.nu/lqsd
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection? http://tfl.nu/93gn
  Replies (5) Good night (314) Bad night (447)

Randomize