Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami." http://tfl.nu/q4af
  Replies (17) Good night (742) Bad night (3966)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant (617): then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him. http://tfl.nu/q2li
  Replies (6) Good night (943) Bad night (3780)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5094) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me http://tfl.nu/nn6b
  Replies (28) Good night (11797) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him http://tfl.nu/3fbj
  Replies (21) Good night (1474) Bad night (8940)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT. http://tfl.nu/jn8b
  Replies (17) Good night (1316) Bad night (4260)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life. http://tfl.nu/zm5g
  Replies (12) Good night (7814) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame http://tfl.nu/h4cx
  Replies (1) Good night (2242) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!" http://tfl.nu/0rpe
  Replies (19) Good night (2471) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now http://tfl.nu/ssv3
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on. http://tfl.nu/8pzz
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno http://tfl.nu/05ob
  Replies (8) Good night (885) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good. http://tfl.nu/74vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1357) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza http://tfl.nu/tg8r
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK http://tfl.nu/irl1
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (390)

Randomize