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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You spelled "worthless" wrong.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (914): View more from New York

  after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (713): View more from Texas

  He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...

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• (858): View more from California

  I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad

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• (904): View more from Florida

  He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.

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