I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
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I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
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Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?