You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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