Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
