I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
