are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
