as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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