Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
