Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
