is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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