Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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