No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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