I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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