I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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