Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize