don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
