in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize