Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
