I am full of burrito and curiosity
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize