she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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