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everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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