My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
