She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize