forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
