My nipple is on Facebook.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
