you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize