The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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