i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He better not be in your backpack
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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