fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize