ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
