My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
