He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
