so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
