I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
