guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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