we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
